Since waiting for others to catch up (or even start for that matter) may result in me getting much to old to type, I think I'll just carry on regardless. Turns out the 1994 was again a little bit on a short side. But should you conclude from this fact that it had to be some bad year in music, don't let the numbers fool you. It may fall short on quantity but the quality is simply unparalleled. It may only be five songs but in terms of importance four of those five could be made of pure uranium. Or something even heavier. For very personal reasons, of course, but not without critical merit. Read on to find out why.
Nine Inch Nails - Hurt
There are certain things that happen to you when you are a disturbed teenager (and honestly, show me an undisturbed teenager and I'll show you a freak of nature so hideous it surely won't survive the next winter). You grow your hair, you shave your hair. You go vegetarian, you go junk food and cola. You go all political, you go 'will never give a damn about any shit in this miserable world'. You do a lot of stuff, that later on you're going to feel extremely embarrassed about and yet, at the same time, wish so much you could go back to that former self (if only just a tad smarter and waaaaay cooler) and do them again. But what a disturbed, reckless teenager does more than anything in the world is suffer. And as we all know (unless some of us have not been through that stage yet) it's a kind of omnidirectional suffering. There isn't any specific reason for it, it's just same attribute of a teenager as the greasy hair. You suffer because of an ethos, because without that, the teenage years simply wouldn't count.
There are a lot of things around us to perfectly accompany that Molotov serving of Angst and Weltschmerz. There are books, there are comics, there are films and computer games that go with it like Żubrówka and apple juice. But nothing can compete with music here. The last time young people could have had trouble in finding music suitable for getting depressed and miserable was in the 50s when we had to do with the scarce offering of rock and roll and jazz. But then came the 60s with the disillusioned hangover after the flower power turned out to be exactly that (flower power... come on, what were they thinking?), then came the 70s and the nihilist punks, and then came the 80s and opened the Pandora's box full of bats. And since the arrival of goth subculture, being depressed was not an element any more. It became a goal in its own rights.
And this is where, I step in. Also, lights! cue Mr. Reznor! It's a double act that couldn't have worked better even if Pen & Teller were doing it. Yes, I agree that there are better Nine Inch Nails songs, and I also agree that considering Johnny Cash's version a better one is not entirely a blasphemy. But at that time I was a man on a mission, I would go for tracks that'd depress me within an inch of my low, teenage life and discard them as far too cheerful. And with his exhibitionist, soul ripping confession of a deranged addict Trent Reznor couldn't have found a better acolyte. And all mockery aside, I still recognise this song as incredibly poignant. And what sets it aside from countless other songs by countless other artists who decided to 'spit it all out' is, that Reznor doesn't ask for compassion, doesn't seek absolution. He, himself is beyond caring, whether you care or not. It's just him and his demons and you can tell, that he knows them all so well, he's probably even given them their pet names. But at the same time it is not a song that was cynically designed to hit a soft spot with undernourished, pale folk. It's a song that's there to deal with things in Reznor's head. And it'd be just as important to him even if he's never had released it. Which is probably what Johnny Cash must have seen in it as well, and let's be honest here, if there is a song that Johnny Cash didn't write himself but it still managed to become inseparable part of him and quite possibly will remain the most important Johnny Cash's song ever, it must be a damn good song.
I also recommend you watch the video. Carefully. Treat yourself to full screen and I'll see you on the other side...
Pink Floyd - High Hopes
I should suspect that there will be choices of mine here capable of surprising all those of you who were paying attention so far. I mean, how does a bunch of old, boring farts like Pink Floyd seat with the likes of Einstuerzende Neubauten or Alien Sex Fiend. Neither as gothic as The Sisters Of Mercy, nor as industrial as God Is LSD. And yet somehow, without The Division Bell my 90s would be pretty much as empty as Gordon Brown's friends group on Facebook (no, I've not checked, I'm just making an unfair assumption). But, in a way, it's still the teenage thing again and again. And Bob Geldof is the one to be blamed. It started, of course, with the Another Brick In The Wall, which we all know so well and love so much. And I did to the point that I got curious about the album it came from. Long story short, eventually I got to see the film as well. And if I wanted to write how much impact it had on me then, I would have to write more here, than anyone would care to read and more about myself, than I would ever want to reveal. Enough said, I was completely sold on Pink Floyd. Until I came across the Ummagumma and the rest of their 60s' insufferable crap, that is. But I did share enough love for The Final Cut and A Momentary Laps Of Reason to feel excited about the new album. And I never thought it would be such a revelation. Let me put it this way: The Division Bell is not my favourite album of all time. These change as I grow older. But if I had to choose that one album to take with me to the proverbial desert island, it would be that one. I think it's because I can't imagine myself to ever get bored of it. For me, what that record brings, is an absolute perfection in every sound. There is nothing there I would dislike or even find unnecessary. Not-a-single-note. Honestly. And on that all-perfect album there is one song that seems to be the perfectest of them all - High Hopes. And after you've listened to it carefully, just tell me, is there any additional explanation required?
Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds - Do You Love Me (Part 2)
I'm having a little bit of a problem with this one. There is no doubt how important that song is for me. The album it comes from, Let Love In, is probably one I've listened to most in my life so far. But then again, it is important to me for very specific and personal reasons and even if I decided to share them with the world, no one would find it relevant in any way. It'd be like trying to explain a joke, just less funny. Of course a statement like that has got to naturally spawn a hole lot of wild guesses and I kind of even foresee where they might be going. So yes, it does partially relate to a girl, but abandon your hopes for sauciness. It's all much more about the emotional state I was in at that time and also a general point in my life and new directions it was taking me to. It just happened that late spring/early summer 1994 might as well have marked a point in which I realised that it was time to wave goodbye my teenage years and a new chapter was opening. Let Love In came into that bringing to the table 45 minutes of bitter, broken, shredded to bits melancholy, which suited only so well my depressed happiness of that era.
As for the song, well, Nick Cave doesn't need an introduction and the music speaks for itself as well. And I strongly recommend (not for the first time as you surely notice) you to listen to it carefully, without distractions. And make sure there are no sharp objects in the vicinity. Just in case there is a moody teenager in the room.
Анастасија – девет враќе железни
Here, we simply can't escape a little story. I only came across this music in 1996, maybe 1997. Whether it was my first year at the university or second I can't remember exactly, but all in all, I think it is likely that I've heard that album first and that influenced my decision to pick Macedonian as one of the two languages I was supposed to learn. It was a small group (you might be surprised to know) so any precious possessions (music especially) were shared immediately. We absolutely fell in love with that album, every single one of us. Than it came out, that it was a soundtrack for a Macedonian film Pred Doždot (Before the Rain). And it was a matter of (short) time before someone produced a battered VHS tape with it recorded from Macedonian TV. As bad VHS copies go, that one was in a league of its own. Yet, we've watched it as a part of the course, and I highly recommend you try it for yourself, for not too much money, after all. And for most of us the music of Anastasija and the Rains of Macedonia became nothing short of an obsession. I made my way in August 1998 expecting pictures from the film and the Byzantine sounds of Anastasija to be omnipresent just in the air. Oddly enough, despite the naivety of these expectations I actually swam in the Lake Ohrid just underneath the little Orthodox church featured in the film. And even though we've stayed during the hottest summer of the century, we still got our share of Macedonian rain as well. And who would have thought, huh?
What's more, by some unimaginable, bizarre stroke of luck I managed to buy an official, genuine (not a pirate!) copy of a CD with Anastasija's soundtrack. So much more fortunate, that three years later I went to see a little concert in Warsaw featuring Zlatko Origjanski of Anastasija and Vanja Lazarova, who also sings as a guest star on this album. Thanks to that I am now a very proud owner of a CD with two priceless autographs whereas my friend who skimped in Ohrid and only got a pirate, didn't have the guts to bring it with him. But let's not digress too much.
On a more general note, it is absolutely amazing how such a small and relatively unknown country as Macedonia could produce such a magnitude of very original, unique artists. I sometimes think that as a former Yugoslav republic it inherited from the original state virtually nothing in terms of infrastructure or industry, but at least that was balanced out by having the best music scene. Bands like Anastasija, Mizar, Kismet, Leb i Sol, Arhangel and many, many others contributed to and continue to create a unique scene that draw its influences from rock and new wave on one side, but at the same time from roots as deep as Byzantine with a large helping of Balcan folklore and then marrying all that with very modern production. I feel privileged and incredibly lucky that some, sometimes fairly random, choices I've made in my life have led me to discovering Macedonian culture, and Macedonian music as a vital part of it. Shame it's a music blog after all, and I can't justify carrying on about the food and rakija as well. Oh well, just book a holiday in Ohrid or Struga, and find out for yourself.
XIII Století - Gotika
As a last and least, a bit of humour. Even if it doesn't seem like it at first glance. The discovery of XIII. Století was a subject to some research. After the first year at the university which I've spent mostly on learning Czech, I was getting ready to spend a few days in Prague. I thought it only natural, that there would be some Czech gothic bands. The problem was, if you don't know what you're looking for, how do you go about finding it. And shortly before my trip, another lucky coincidence brought to me and my friend an article in a music magazine about Czech rock scene. A few names were mentioned. We preserved the article to be our guide in Prague's music shops.
We forgot to take the article with us.
We could only remember the names of two bands and we managed to buy some cassettes of both.
We didn't remember that one of those bands was mentioned in the article as one to avoid, being boring, repetitive and unoriginal. The other one, luckily, was XIII. Století.
Which wasn't that easy to find, actually. After all, the gothic niche does not necessarily have to be popular or even known in little shops filled with Karel Gott, Helena Vondráčková and Jiří Korn. I remember that after a visit to one of the shops where I've made my attempts at inquiring about XIII. Století I was directed to another shop that was supposed to stock that kind of music. It did. Just mind that XIII. Století means in Czech '13th century'. Nevermind, we got there eventually. And what we got was confusing, to say the least. I mean, I loved it immediately. The music was as gothic as it gets, but the worrying bit was, that sometimes maybe even too much. It was almost like someone took a gothic rock encyclopaedia and decided to tick all the boxes of what a gothic band should be like and what the music should sound like. Which for some unspecified reason felt somehow wrong. And it wasn't until I saw them live a few years after that, when everything fell into place perfectly. You see, XIII. Stoleti is an act. It's a gothic rock cabaret, a masquerade. The vampires, demons, werewolves and dark Carpathian forests are nothing more than theatrical props, and once you see it's all nothing but painted on a cardboard, once you see the strings on which the bats are hanging, then it all starts making perfect sense at last. Once you know they don't mean it, nothing stops you from enjoying it one hundred per cent.
I've chosen Gotika because, simply enough, it's my favourite track. And because everything is there. The intro, the drama, the ravens... If there's ever been a song that was a musical equivalent to Hammer House of Horrors, it would have to be that one and no other. Which is as good a recommendation as any other, I guess.
So there we are, 1994 in five songs. There'll be nine in 1995 and already I can see something absolutely terrifying there. Some of those feel like they should belong to the early noughties, not bang in the middle of the nineties. I see enough signs of ageing in the bloody mirror every day, didn't think this blog would make it so much worse. Oh well, I'll try to deal with it like a man. I'm going to go somewhere and whimper. But I'll be back and with me, some very good music indeed.
SHORTCUTS:
1990s Tracklist
Part One - 1990
Part Two - 1991
Part Three - 1992
Part Four - 1993
Part Six - 1995
Part Seven - 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999
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